Chris Neeley Turns 42

In honor of his 42nd birthday…I thought it would be appropriate to roast the fellow and list 42 things about him that are of interest, notable and downright loveable:

1.  He’s 42 today, but declares that a doctor once told him that his bone structure was at least 3-5 years behind resulting in a lower “actual” age. …Nice try…Chris Neeley!… Tuck seems to be taking the same but opposite liberties with his birthday…it runs in the family.

2. Our children have learned that “Let’s go out to dinner” could mean crossing state lines for some hole in the wall barbeque joint. We now refer to these excursions as Neeley Family Meal Field Trips.

3. When Chris talks about NC or SC, he refers to the regions by the barbeque style (mustard, vinegar, tomato-based etc…) This was extremely confusing to Jordan when she was actually learning NC and SC history in school. She thought the war between the states had something to do with barbeque.

4. When I met Chris, the steering wheel of his car had remnants of dried boiled peanut juice and fried chicken crumbs stuck to it. He really knew how to impress a southern girl!

5. Chris can multi-task…I’ve watched him drive a car, eat a boiled peanut, and take a phone call all at the same time without using his hands…it’s amazing!

6. He can put a chicken wing in one side of his mouth and pull a bone out the other…the Green girls are still amazed!

7. He once ran a campaign with the slogan, “Pop a wheelie, vote for Neeley!”

8. His political career began working in the mailroom of the Chamber of Commerce. He’s an example to follow.

9. Everywhere  we go… no matter how far, Chris Neeley always bumps into someone he knows.

10. He follows his heart and his passion. He takes risks worth taking!

11. He was an Eagle Scout.

12. He lives by the boy scout law…he is a man of incredible integrity.

13. On our first date, he asked permission to call me sometime. When I agreed he said, “Okay, I’ll call you tomorrow.”…and he did! Chris Neeley keeps his word.

14.  Every weekend, after a fabulous meal…Chris announces….”The diet starts Monday!”

15. Every Monday, the gym bag is packed for a ride around in the car for a week.

16. Sweet sixteen donuts mean it’s been a bad day.

17. Cream horns mean it’s been a good day

18. On bad days, he wants to sell everything and open a hot dog stand named “Hot Weiners”

19. He knows how to cook some hot weiners and doggone good chili. I just want the t-shirt rights

20.  Chris could invent the next snuggie. He is always chock full of interesting ideas and inventions. Ask him about the crumb catcher…

21. He invented the triple dipple.

22. He’s not gay and will still listen to Duran Duran with me.

23. His hair used to resemble a member of the band Duran Duran (Alan Green has the proof).

24. One of his favorite songs is the “Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald” from Gordo’s Gold…wine anyone?!? Our children know the tragic tale. It kind of puts a damper on the night

25. He used to think the lyrics to  “Message in the Bottle” was about a woman named… Mrs. Jennabotta

26. He loves Duke’s mayonnaise and will defend it and discuss it at length.

27. He cannot order effectively at a drive-thru…he has special needs.

28. The woman at #1 China can never take his order over the phone. His dialect and Chinese clash…we end up with a bag full of appetizers and a bowl of soup.

29. He orders appetizers!

30. He loves giving gifts and cannot wait for us to open his presents.

31. Right before Tuck was born, Wachovia called and asked if we were in possession of our debit card. Chris had just returned from Pottery Barn Kids at SouthPark mall. He really likes to shop for his family.

32. Chris is the consummate “Family Man”

33. He is an incredible father, husband, and friend.

34. He loves Jesus and speaks easily about him with others.

35. He sets a godly example for our children.

36. He talked me (a former Lutheran) into attending the contemporary service at church.

37.  He thought about going to seminary…I don’t think God is finished with him yet.

38. He will be a light in the darkness. The Afghan people have not met someone like Chris Neeley

39. He may convince some of them to eat pork when it’s barbequed SC style.

40. He still thinks the Gamecocks can win a national championship.

41. He is an eternal optimist…see #40.

42.  He is the butter to our bread and the breath to our life. We cannot wait until he returns home.

WE MISS YOU BIG BOY!  HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! …When you get home….there will be cake!!!



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6 responses to “Chris Neeley Turns 42

  1. PaPa

    Janie, that was great. You described him perfectly.


  2. Rick

    Nice. Love the sentiments – you have him pegged.

  3. Brenda

    This is the sweetest b-day list i have ever seen in my life. How special and unique.

  4. Alan Green

    #43- Chris loves all you can eat pizza bars.
    #44- He has a great dry cleaner.

  5. James Kirk

    Great post, J. I can vouch for many of those 42 items, including the bone-scan story and the “Edmund Fitzgerald.” I remember our listening to that one back in the 70’s – we both loved it and still do!

  6. Andy Lancaster

    Janie, I can vouch for the fact that Chris knows EVERY BBQ restaurant/shack/hole-in-the-wall/diner/buffet in North and South Carolina.

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